Joke # 147 - How to Get to Heaven

I asked the children in my Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day and mowed the yard and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?"

Once more they all answered, "NO!"

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?"

Once more they all answered, "NO!"

"Well," I continued, impressed that they were a much more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, "then how can I get into heaven?"

A five year old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

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